California to Utah to Vegas (the Appetizer Tour)

It was a great plan. It started back in November when I realized my kids were growing faster than I ever wanted. Kaylin is almost 20. Christian is about to hit 18 and leaving on a mission right after he graduates next year. While Katie, Kelsey and Courtney still have some time I realized this might be the last chance to go as a family. So I planned a hiking camping trip to Bryce Canyon. Then it became the Grand Canyon and Vegas. Well, long story short it ended up being California to Salt Lake to Vegas. Christian couldn't come because his school let out a week later and then Kaylin still had school and work. My big dreams of a family trip shrink a bit. Darn-it though, I was going come hell or high water.

Fast forward to Vacation. I started vacation on Saturday but Katie had to work so we stayed for the talent show where Katie and Courtney danced 50's style to rock around the clock. Too cute. Emily and Sara, two of my nieces danced also. I decided to face a long fear and sing in public. Don't get me wrong. I can carry a tune in a bucket. I just was never sure how far I could carry that bucket. Sure, I am amazing in the car while driving to work but really, I can't fit a whole audience in the car and in the end I do have the radio up really loud. It turned out well though. Even if I had a cold and it kicked into my asthma. I did pretty O.K.
Sunday, day two, church in the morning then pack, pack, pack.
Monday

Monday was lift off for our little adventure. After picking up a hitchhiker...AKA....my niece Britley....we were off. Me, Katie,Kelsey, Courtney, Mom and Britley. All was going well. Two hours later we were on the side of the road spewing gas from my fuel line. There we were, stuffed into the van with four kids. What do you do? You go Bear Grylls urban suburban style. We jacked up the van and I climbed under to see what happened. After consulting my cell phone looking for a diagram on the Internet and my brothers pieced together description of how to fix it I took electrical tape ( which, by the way, gas eats through) and taped the lines together until a tow truck came. Not before a highway patrolman stopped to help push me off the freeway. Something about four kids walking up and down the freeway made him nervous and he stopped. The tow truck driver was nice enough to give us a ride to the shop where the owner of the shop happened to be L.D.S. Luck you say? I think not. $30 later and a few chuckles from the mechanics at my cut and paste job ( hey it was pretty ingenious if I do say so myself) we were back on the road. But not before a pit stop because Britley has a bladder the size of a pea and that seemed to trigger Courtney's bladder which apparently is also the size of a pea. So off to the local taco shop. After Mom was approached by a homeless kid in need of a meal I realized that perhaps things do happen for a reason. I ended up talking to him for a bit, got him a meal and filled up a bag with food, phone card, and of course a B.O.M. I told him a bit about some of the things I went through and told him to keep trying and do the hard stuff because that is the only way you get the happy stuff (profound eh?). After being helped so much it was nice to be able to pay it forward. So we decided we should keep going.

Off to Utah

After a few more bathroom stops (pea size I swear) we were heading past Vegas and into Utah. The pass into Utah is not bad in the dark. I found out how claustrophobic it can be in the light though. We ended up stopping for the night in St. George. There we experienced our first polygamist women. I must say, they do know how to sew. Amazing dresses if you are into the 1800 pioneer woman look. Two of the girls were with a teenage boy. I think he was their brother. He ultimately found my 16 year old fascinating judging from how often he turned to look at her. HMMMM could she be number four? Then it was off to the hotel and then dinner where I learned that when you become covered in gas and it's in your hair and on your head you eventually get sick from it. FUN. I passed out while Mom took the kids to dinner.

Tuesday

The next morning I was much better and after a waffle filled morning we were off again. Quick stop at the St. George Temple for pics turned into a longer stay than planned. You see, apparently those missionary couples that serve there get a little lonely and somehow drug us into the visitor center. We were anxious to get going but felt it rude to run out. Don't think I did consider it. I did. After a few polite goodbyes we high tailed it out and headed North. The rocks and mountains were gorgeous and made me long to see Zion or Bryce canyon but alas it was not meant to be this trip. Heading into Beaver we found a cheese factory. YUMMMMMMMM. You do realize that God has given us many things and some of the best are peanut butter, chocolate, bacon, and cheese. So after buying up variety cheese slices, ice cream, crafts, and of course "squeaky cheese" ( otherwise known to the cheese world as cheese curds) we were off again. Wait, bathroom break. Ok now back on the road. Lunchtime found us at a cracker barrel. I had never before experienced the wonders of a cracker barrel so let me just say. Not that big a deal. Sure they had really cute stuff to buy. I am such a sucker for country kitch but the food was pretty basic or I am just to much of a foodie. It really does personify the Midwest. Another bathroom break and we were off. Side note...our gas prices per gallon went from 4.29 in Cal. to 3.69 in Utah ...WHAT? Darn California government spending all our money on stupid...but I digress. Ok, where were we. Oh yes, heading North. We saw cowboys herding cows like you see in movies. Now let me just interrupt here and explain what I just said. WE SAW COWBOYS....sure they were to far away to see what they looked like but I have read enough cheesy romance novels to know what they can look like. All of them are also rough, rugged, and complete romantic gentleman just longing to be understood by the right woman. Hey, those books don't lie OK. HEH. Katie however thought grandma and Mom were being silly and a bit goofy. Granted we had been driving for hours in a van stuffed with kids so giddiness could have been a factor, but I still concede it was the countless days of summer left alone on the beach with nothing to do but read while they played in the surf. Can I help it if I have to watch
the stuff on the beach? A mom's job is never done ( pulling out tiny violin). So now we know Katie is not much of a light reader. Continuing North we finally headed into Provo where we drove past BYU. I was going to stop but we were running out of time and wanted to hit Salt Lake. Bathroom break. In Salt Lake we ended up going to the Conference Center first. Again, nice older couples called in their wards to serve as tour guides. We had a really nice brother who was very patient. He told us so many things and we got to see the whole thing. It was so neat getting to see where the Prophet and General Authorities sit in conference. The place is an amazing structure too. I also loved the Arnold Friedberg gallery. They have so many of his original paintings in there. It was so awesome to see all those pictures I grew up with right there larger than life. One of my personal favorites is George Washington praying and I would have liked to have seen that one but it was still so amazing. All the artwork was so beautiful and seeing the portraits of prophets and leaders was wonderful also. Up on the roof where the gardens were was fascinating. I loved hearing about the different plants as they related to what the pioneers saw coming into the valley. I will admit I didn't look over the side. Nanci, is not a big fan of heights. As we were standing inside the building looking toward the Temple Kelsey said "Mom, there is a man walking across the Temple. Me being the caring mother that I am said. "Kelsey don't be ridiculous. That is impossible." Sure enough there was a man in a black suit walking across the top of the Temple. Angel of darkness trying to enter into the Lord's holy house? Nope, it was just a security guard checking doors on top of the Temple. Who knew right? Don't worry, I got pictures just in case no one believes us. So after goodbyes to this kind patient gentleman we were off to Temple Square. I feel I should clarify something here. Because of our late start on the trip we had to speed things up a bit. We had already gone to the visitor center in St. George and learned about polygamy to boot( in the Walmart of course. What did you think?). We decided to take pictures, walk around the grounds and then eat. Mostly cause we were all hungry. Again, nice patient older man serving on the grounds stopped us. Was there a target on us? Perhaps, but he was so nice to the kids. We booked it back to Provo and found rooms. Britley and Courtney found the elevators. Up and down and up and down. By the way, at the Conference center....Bathroom. Oh and I almost forgot. I always say that when I get back to Heavenly Father I am going to ask him why he couldn't put bathrooms in the forest for women if he was not going to give us some sort of equipment to relieve ourselves easily like men. Apparently President Hinkley was thinking along the same lines when they built the conference center. He had them make more stalls in the women's bathrooms than in the men's and when there is a women's conference or relief society meeting they can change the signs on the men's bathrooms and put doors around the urinals so there are more bathrooms. I swear, you know that man was a true prophet of God to have understood that. Well maybe he just listened when his wife complained about standing in line but no,,,,,definitely a prophetic man. Ok ...Provo. DINNER!!! Cafe Rio!!!, of course, it's my Mom. I honestly believe she dreams of Cafe Rio in her sleep once a week. This trip was laced with these next few words. I ate to much. Uggg 3-5 pounds worth if the current scale is correct. Then to bed but no, Kelsey didn't want that food so I had to go make another trip to find In and Out. Got lost. Oh boy did I. Finally found Walmart so really??? How lost could I be? Bought a few BYU t-shirts and became instantly jealous of the book section with all the LDS stuff in it. JEALOUS I SAY! The most inspirational thing we have at ours is a guy who smiles way to much on TV and a lady with really bad 80's hair. I also drooled a bit in the food storage section. Awww this place is truly my Mecca. Sleepy time. Did I mention we also blew out my lighters that charge all the electronics in the car. Oh my gosh it was like finishing a trip in the 70's. Kelsey spent most of the trip looking for a red box that held the movie Tron to no avail. Even after the DVD player died from lack of charging he was still searching the boxes. I don't think he grasped the concept of nothing to play the movie on real well.

Wednesday

Heading out we had to hit the Walmart again because some people were jealous of the BYU gear so we had to buy more. Can I just say that with all the college kids and young married couple in Provo I felt really old. Ok so now we had to find Shirley's Bakery. Why? Cinnamon rolls baby. We Mormon's know how to use white flour and sugar to it's best advantage. Sure, that could have been the reason my scale terrified me this morning but it's a vacation for crying out loud. Got the rolls and headed South to Vegas. Just add about 4 bathroom breaks at this point. Next time I swear I am hiding the water. Stopped at another Cracker Barrel because I regretted not buying those cute glass balls my Mom thinks look like Christmas ornaments ( they don't). It's all kind of blurry driving South because I fell asleep in the back of the van while Mom drove. I do recall allot of fighting but that was a continuing theme along with giggling, pushing feet into my back while driving, go fish, and singing. Back in St. George we did late lunch at In and Out. Choices are limited when it comes to speed so in the end you wind up needing Benefiber for the next week....If ya know what I mean. I snuck into the yogurt shop cause I have this tart, almond, coconut, rainbow jimmies (red bean Asian style if I can get it) self serve yogurt addiction. Yummmm...there I ran into a few more of those black sheep of the L.D.S faith. I kind of wanted to shake those poor girls and say...run, run now. Hard enough being a wife let alone one of many. Sheshhh. I also do not share well so I can't relate. Bathroom break. Down to Vegas. WINDY. Stop off for ANOTHER bathroom break in some way off the trail town where the first building you come across is a mortuary. Not real comforting. Back on I15 South. Finally hit Vegas. Still Windy. Southpoint Hotel. I forgot that I grew up in a world with smoking all around me. My kids however, being the little California kids that they are have been trained to be politically correct in this department. Not to say that I enjoy second hand smoke, although if I must inhale I would prefer Marlboro light. (Just Kidding...ewww gross). So this is pretty much how our walk through the Casino to get to the room elevators went. Katie, OH MY GOSH, this is sooooooo disgusting (as loud as she can talk of course) I am going to smell disgusting. Mom , I swear I can't breath. Is the room going to smell like this. Gross" Courtney " NASTY, I can't breath mom. I feel sick. Me " You guys have only been walking for 20 seconds, knock it off. "Kelsey " It's stinks in here Mom." Britley "I can't breath either. Grandma, it smells so nasty in here" As I rolled my eyes and herded them to the elevators where they realized once inside that we would not be smoked to death. Room was nice. Floor to ceiling windows and we were on the 12th floor. I so love heights....aaaaaaaaa. We decided to have dinner at the buffet. $80 later most of the kids didn't eat (except Katie of course who finished off three plates because she exhales and burns off a million calories...jealous). I showed them how to lose a dollar in a slot machine. It took me 30 seconds. Lesson learned? I think so. Although Katie pointed out I had just wasted a dollar. It's an interactive lesson..geeeze teenagers. We were exhausted but managed to get in the car and I drove down the strip. At this point I realized that we were not getting out of the car. Between the men giving our nudie cards and half the people drunk or stupid we were just fine in our little van. The kids liked the lights and buildings. I cringed with my mother as I tried to ignore big screen TV's with ad's for stuff I forgot existed. I also hoped my kids did not see the big flashing images ( yeah right). They did see a few Chapels of love and a couple who must have just gotten married. We later saw the same couple dressed to the nines waiting at a bus stop. Romantic? Well DUH. What is more romantic than a bus ride with 10 of your closest homeless friends with no where to go riding with you. Can you imagine the reception? OK, that wasn't nice but really? A bus? I can even see the wistfully romantic notion of having Elvis marry you, but a bus? Back to the room and bed.

Thursday

Vegas should surely be safer in the light of day. Well almost. Some of those little cards the men give out fall on the ground. Oppps. We walked through a mall and down to the MnM store. Four glorious floors devoted to those little chocolate guys. Now, I am not a big MnM kinda gal. I prefer Hersheys but who can resist those cute little guys. I also feel I can relate to the green one. How? I am not sure but she definitely speaks to me. So after buying souvenirs and trinkets worth absolutely nothing just to prove we were there we walked the streets a bit until the little guys began to complain........two bathroom breaks in 15 mins....same kids. Into the mall for a little retail therapy for Katie. Unfortunately Katie felt it was way to little but darn it. This is the appetizer tour. We see little bits of everything as fast as we can. Off to hoover dam. Kelsey and I made our classic dam jokes. "Do you know where the dam bathroom is?" " Did you see which way the dam ranger went?" You get the idea. I just want to tell you that no matter how you phrase it those jokes they never get old. Ok, everyone else thought they got old but not Kelsey and I. Britly did not follow wind protocol and lost her hat over the dry side of the dam. Now we can call it her dam hat. See, it's still funny. She cried..allot..... but eventually we moved on. Bought more silly trinkets and drove across the new giant bridge while my Mom closed her eyes. I drove it back the other way too which she doubly didn't like but it's the only way. Back to Vegas and 45 minutes to crawl 3 miles cause of an accident. Oh, I forgot. We went to Albertson's in Boulder to get lunch supplies. It's the same store there as here. I still can't believe I had to go to Albertson's on my vacation. Three bathrooms breaks...wait, one more. Ok, so now we are headed home as fast as we can cause let's face it. That was enough vacation for anyone and Katie now has to be at the stake center with Christian for youth conference. Apparently she didn't have enough vacation. Drop Britley off where my 3 nephews came running to greet here. HOME.WHEWWWWWWWW

Next vacation.....Nanci...no kids...Paris. No not Perris. HA!!! Dreams you know.

The End